Through the murk of your Saturday morning hangover, you'll have noticed at least two parts of your body perk up if you switch on ITV1 in time for Ministry of Mayhem. For some of you this will be due to co-presenter Michael Underwood, but the rest of us will be responding to the lovely Holly Willoughby. The latest in a noble tradition of ladies who make festering drunks suddenly interested in kids' TV, she recently grabbed headlines by accidentally releasing a perfectly formed breast live on air. A thousand boys hit puberty with a clang... and when you look at these shots, who knows: you might too.

Maxim: You're a former model - at one time were the face of Rimmel and the body of Pretty Polly. So who was in charge of your mind back then?
Holly: Er, there was nothing being advertised in my mind. My mind is my own, thank you!

The pretty polly slogan was "I am a sex goddess." So are you?
Well, when I did that ad I was about 17, so at that time absolutely not. These days? Yeah, I'd like to think so. It's a bit presumptuous to say that though, don't you think?

It is a little bit yeah, but you've done it now. So just for the record, do you actually want to state: 'I am now a sex goddess' or not?
One day, maybe, I might just be that sex goddess.

Well we're here to help you. Would you ever consider advertising Ginsters?
What, like pork pies? Yeah! I have been known to stop off at a shell garage and pick up a couple.

We've come up with this erotic technique: put tomato sauce in your lover's belly button, and then roll a Scotch egg down their body so it picks up some sauce on the way into your waiting mouth between your lover's thighs. What do you reckon?
I think that is the least erotic thing I have ever heard. Please don't do it if you ever pull someone.

But imagine the sense of accomplishment if you managed to catch it at the bottom.
No.

What about a pasty?
They are quite greasy, so it'd get some speed up.

And probably take your head off. Ok: Ministry of Mayhem. Now as a female Saturday morning TV presenter you must surly be aware that for the boy viewers you are the bridge from the innocence of childhood to the muggy atmosphere of puberty. Does that thrill you?
Does it thrill me thinking that young boys are reaching adolescence while I'm on TV? No, it fills me with absolute horror! Wouldn't it you?

We're not sure. You dress as a French maid of the show. Is that the kind of outfit you'd normally wear in the bedroom or are you kinkier than that?
I can understand why people do the dressing up thing, but I couldn't do it. I find every slightly unusual situation very amusing, so there'd be nothing sexy about it because I'd be giggling.

We'd still find it compelling. Is it true that you threw up live on air?
Yeah. We were doing this thing with Razor Ruddock after I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here! and we had three bowls of food for him to choose from. He said, "I'll only do it if you do it", so I thought, "Which one's least likely to make me throw up?" and there was one bowl with a shot of Tabasco sauce! Because you drink it in Bloody Marys, I thought it'd be fine, but I did half a shot and then suddenly I felt it rise up and had to run off. I actually puked in Michael's bathroom while screaming, "Turn my mike off!"

That's lovely. You do science experiments on the show. Can you do one for us now?
What, with what we've got here? I can actually (starts sticking a fork into the bottom of a water bottle)

This is going to end disastrously.
No it's not! OK ready: instant tap (Unscrews top, which results in a weak stream of water flowing into a glass. Plus a larger stream of water dribbling all over the table.) See, instant tap... and a mess as well!

Yes that's a shame.
But with the materials we had here, that was pretty good.

Very impressive. You're just like Marie Curie.
I learnt that at school. I won the science prize you know...

We couldn't be more impressed. So go on, tell us about your 'Janet Jackson moment'.
My boob? It was the last ever thing you'd want to happen. Duncan from Blue was hypnotized and the idea was that we'd dance and he'd copy whatever I did. So I really went for it thinking, "This is great, he's going to look like a right idiot here!" and then I looked down, and was it was just like a moment of "Oh no!" The worst thing was that because Duncan had to copy everything I did, he actually mimicked me putting a boob back into his top.

So did you just carry on as though nothing had happened?
Oh yeah. It was only a split second, and i carried on the move of putting myself into my top with a nice spin. Nobody noticed at the time. No one in the producers gallery or anything. Obviously I noticed so I knew I was going to be in shot, but I thought I'd got away with it, And then the next day it was in the paper...

Did you wear a roll-neck the following week?
No I wore exactly the same type of top.

That's a bit daft isn't it? If it happens again then people will start to think you're deliberately exposing them.
Nah, you can't let these things affect you. I'll just be as ballsy as I usually am.

Are you still doing your Open University psychology degree?
No.

Well, let's pretend you are because we've prepared questions. Can we go through some of the topics in the modules? Firstly: Identity. Who are you?
I am a TV presenter who is trying not to expose herself every Saturday morning.

Next: evolutionary psychology. Which animal are you most like?
Well... dolphins are the only other animal that have sex for fun.

You have sex for fun? It should be for procreation alone.
Yes I agree.

Ok, next: the impact that your environment has on your personality
I did a whole essay on this once. It's very complex

Ok, we'll go slowly so we can bring all the issues out. You grew up in Brighton, which has a big gay community. So do you have a deep desire to dress up in a cap and leather chaps?
I wish I did! I do like fish and chips though which is a Brighton thing.

Next: sex! Are you quite mannish in any way?
I like to drink Jack Daniel's.

Like Slash! And he wears leather chaps, too! So Brighton has affected you, see?
Oh yeah! You've turned the light on for me. Thanks.

Finally tell us something saucy Miss Children's TV.
Would you like a juicy secret?

Yes please.
I have a rule. My rule is that is that whenever I buy a pair of shoes, they should always be worn in the bedroom before they are worn anywhere else.

During the sex act?
During the sex act.

(Five-minute silence. Maxim leaves) Holly stars in Ministry of Mayhem Saturday Mornings on ITV1